Incompetent Abroad: The British Invasion

It was with mixed emotions and lighter wallets that the Morris brothers emerged from the bowels of the Queen Mary 2 and stepped onto the land that is Mother England.  I would have fallen to my knees and kissed the ground, but I didn’t know who it had been with the night before.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw the ghosts of my undergraduate mentors—O. J. Wilson, Hayden P. Sawyer, Virginia Williams, Georgette Shuler, John Kinnaman, who, with one voice, reminded me that I still had outstanding library fines.  “Depart ye spirits,” I commanded, “for I have given richly to the alumni fund.” As they slowly evaporated into the general air, I reflected on how easy it is to lie to ghosts.

Let me depart from my musings a moment to make clear that my brothers, however cavalierly I depict them, are men of achievement and substance.  Before shuffling off the old 9 to 5, David earned a master’s in public administration from Penn State and went on to a distinguished career in economic development for the state of Illinois.  During that stretch of service, he laid aside a dollar here, acquired an acre there and is now doing quite nicely, thank you. He and his wife, the former Anna Anderson, also an MH/UC grad, have endowed scholarships at UC and Penn State and journeyed to virtually every city and hamlet around the world where finer souvenirs are sold.

Roger proceeded on from MH/UC to take a master’s in journalism at the University of Illinois.  After teaching journalism at Arizona State and George Washington University, he moved into public relations for DuPont and DuPont/Merck, from which he exited in 1999.  He has developed his interest in wine and food into a second career. He has authored two books and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles on the subject and continues to visit and report on vineyards and vintners, both domestic and foreign, from France, Spain, Italy and Portugal to Chile and New Zealand.  Roger counts among his proudest accomplishments his long and glorious marriage to former MH/UC librarian and almost alum, Lowella Alford.

Nonetheless, I knew these lads when they didn’t have a resume to rub between them, and I still sometimes view them through that prism.

As for me, I’ve nickeled and dimed my way through life, spurning opportunities for greatness because I didn’t like the hours.  So here I am today, a surly mendicant, always alert for a handout and the chance to bite the hand that’s extending it.

And, at last, here I stand on the sceptered isle of my dreams, giddy with anticipation and wondering where I might find a bathroom.